The only thing I hated more than bra shopping when I was a kid, was swimsuit shopping. It remains one of the worst self-esteem activities still to this day. Everyone wants to look like the tall, slender bikini models in ads and on instagram, but somehow the lighting in all the dressing rooms makes me look more like one of the rounder and shorter troll dolls. They should really change those lightbulbs, or mirrors. Or just throw them away. Maybe burn down the dressing rooms all-together. Too much?
I do prefer to order swimsuits online, mainly because I prefer the lighting and horrible self-esteem aftermath in my own home where I can quickly waller in my own self-pity while simultaneously pouring myself a glass of wine. All while I try to suck in everything that isn't, well, 'in'. I'm only 35, yes only, so I own a one-piece swimsuit and one tankini that I've dubbed my "momsuit" but I prefer the tan lines of a two-piece. So really I'm just torturing myself. I always find myself drawn to the cute, strappy tops or the one shoulder straps but the thought of the tan lines afterwards makes me shy back to my go-to halter neck. Consistency is key in proper tan lines right?
Here's the kicker. While I may be shorter and rounder than I once was with "dancer" thighs as I was told in 5th grade, side note- kiss my round rear Ryan in the back row who was stick figure slim with zero muscles. My dancer thighs should've kicked your butt because we all know who grew up to be able to squat heavier weight and it wasn't you! Anyway... so with my structure one might assume I'd be all for the ever popular trend of high waisted bottoms. Except I hate them. Why oh why do people want "mom bods" and what exactly is a "mom bod" that would require you to wear jeans or swimsuits up to your boobs?!?! Moms are cool and on behalf of all moms everywhere that also hate this trend, you look dumb. Sorry if you love high waisted bottoms and were blessed with the torso to carry this trend well, good for you! The rest of the us will just be over here with our swimsuit bottoms and jeans that sit appropriately on our hips and stomachs without looking like we have a massive wedgie.
I actually asked my husband to weigh-in on this topic while trying to pick swimsuits for our recent vacation. The models do wear the suits well and I was tempted just to try it on and see what I looked like. Well, I looked like a shorter version of what I've always envisioned my grandma to look like in a swimsuit. My husband was NOT on board with this trend and admitted he actually hates this trend in jeans, shorts and now swimsuit bottoms. Hallelujah! We agreed!
I do not have the body for the side-tie swimsuit bottoms but I still think those are the sexiest. Oh and I'll also never be caught dead in a thong bikini in public even if one day you could bounce a quarter off my rear. It's just not happening and I question the women choosing this outfit in a public place with their husbands. What exactly are you wearing in the future where that's the only option for a tan line from that suit? Maybe I don't want to know.
I always dreamt of the day that I would finally, finally have 6 pack abs and sculpted arms after all these years of cardio and fitnessing. I wanted that picture of me on a beach in all my glory to portray my confidence and the fruits of my hard work over all these years. All of the macro counting, all of the foods I've resisted instead of eating and enjoying, and absolutely every one of the burpees and miles I've ever ran. I've wanted that for so long. But, you know what I found instead of abs? I found happiness and self-love. I'm nowhere near where I would like to be and I've got plans to get back to at least where I was before surgery. But instead of wallowing in my self-pity on vacation, I let my husband stand back and take a photo of me, in a swimsuit, on the beach with an honest and confident smile on my face. I'm happy and I have a lot to be thankful for. Plus, I liked my halter swimsuit!
Ultimately, swimsuits are a personal preference and you should and can wear whatever you feel comfortable in. I can't remember where I read it but a while back after the birth of my second child I remembered reading a blog from another mom like myself who loathed swimsuit shopping. But she had the best point of her story and that was to not let your swimsuit choice dictate the memories you're making in that suit. Your kids don't care what your tan lines look like but they do care if you go down the water slide with them 400 times. Your friends shouldn't be judging you if you've got a two-piece on suit with a little extra winter bod hanging out, and if they are, find new friends! You shouldn't avoid going to social functions at a pool or lake where a swimsuit will be all anyone's wearing because chances are, if they invited you, they want you to come and enjoy yourself no matter if that's in a 'momsuit', one-piece or one of those high-waisted, one shoulder things that you can rock like nobodies business! Embrace the lighting, let go of the insecurities and buy the suit that makes you proud of how you look. Rock it girl!
XOXO Ashley
Thanks friend!!!
Well said. And I happen to have first hand knowledge that the only "judgement" your friends have about you in a swimsuit is admiration for all the positive choices you make to end up with that rockin' bod!