Most people make some sort of fitness related resolution every year. I haven't actually read the statistics but I'm pretty positive a significant amount of people view the start of the year as a chance for a redo. An opportunity to recharge and revisit last year's goals you may or may not have accomplished. So like all of you, I am one of those people.
Now I have always considered myself to be exercise "challenged". I developed exercise-induced asthma in high school during a particularly shameful mile-run attempt. I'll never forget my first mile-run experience or my absolutely awful time. 13 minutes. 13 minutes where I sort-of attempted to run/walk because in middle school, I was a less-than-driven athlete. I mean I knew I wasn't really trying but I didn't think my time would be THAT bad. Then skip to high school where I had this new rationale for why I was snail slow and I was sure my athleticism was nonexistent. I also decided to join the dance team in high school where spandex was everyday attire however to me, spandex was the enemy. So in that aspect I guess you could say not much has changed since high school. I actually went so far as to duck tape my stomach before I'd put on my lovely spandex pants for performances. I wasn't an overweight child by any means and I'd kill to have that body back but I did have a "developed" body we'll call it, complete with hips and boobs. I'm not entirely sure why I felt so insecure but I did and that was how I coped.
After high school I tried out for the college dance team and devastatingly, I didn't make it. I've been dancing since I was 4 years old so this was a huge punch to the gut for me. But I'd let myself slip and didn't understand at the time, the correlation to exercising and dancing. Dancing just came so natural and exercising was straight painful. Running was still my enemy and then came the college abundance of booze and my hopes and dreams of continuing my dancing career just slipped away.
Looking back I'd like to kick my own ass for being so lazy but as God would have it, he intervened and I ended up majoring in exercising and sports basically. Given my families genetics, I had a realization that if I didn't want to end up obese and diabetic, I had to take my health and nutrition seriously.
I've had a pretty hefty amount of setbacks on my exercise and nutritional journey. More ER trips for asthma attacks than I could count, gaining 60 pounds with my first child on my tiny 5'2" frame followed by 2 C-section births- that'll basically tear your hopes of abs to shreds, and most recently a spinal fusion back surgery. I'm not entirely sure how I broke my back and my doctor went with the label, "medical anomaly", which I think makes the situation sound much cooler than it really was. I'm 6 months post-op and released to exercise as I see fit.
I still see exercise as a challenge and let me tell you there's nothing more humbling and painful than trying to crawl your way back into shape. But I refuse to give up. I refuse to believe I'm not athletic or that exercise isn't for me. Maybe a crop top or rock-hard abs aren't in my future, or maybe they are! But I do know that I'm worth the effort and the journey to finding a healthier me is a lifelong battle.
The photo was taken in Florida on during a recent vacation and I found it incredibly fitting for this post. The journey to a healthier me has had lots of hills and the end is not in sight, but it's a beautiful path filled with hope and determination.
In my next posts I'll share about all the exercise trends I've tried, or would like to try, and share lots of information on nutrition. Plus I LOVE cooking so watch-out for some healthy recipes! Thanks for reading!
XOXO,
Ashley
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